The first 90 days of 1:1s — a framework for new managers who inherited a team

# First 90 Days of 1:1s — New Manager Framework **Manager:** First-time manager promoted internally **Team:** 6 engineers, varying tenure (1 to 7 years) **Dynamic:** Team was close to the previous manager; grief and skepticism are present --- ## Monthly Goals ### Month 1 — Listen and Learn - Understand each person's history, motivations, and unspoken frustrations - Map the unwritten rules of how the team actually works - Avoid making changes or promises — you do not have the full picture yet ### Month 2 — Surface and Align - Surface friction points you have been hearing - Align each person around 1–2 things they want to grow in - Begin lightweight coaching on specific moments ### Month 3 — Commit and Coach - Make explicit commitments where trust has formed - Start giving real feedback (positive and developmental) - Establish the long-term 1:1 cadence and format --- ## Question Bank 1. What is something you wish I knew that I probably do not? 2. Where do you feel most trusted on this team? Least trusted? 3. What did [previous manager] do well that I should preserve? 4. What would you want me to do differently? 5. What is one project you would take on if I gave you space? 6. Who on this team makes your work better? Who makes it harder? 7. If you were running this team, what is the first thing you would change? 8. What is something you have been stuck on that you have not told anyone? 9. How do you want feedback from me — examples of what lands vs what does not? 10. What would make this next quarter feel like a win for you personally? --- ## What NOT to Do Early - Do not critique the previous manager, even if invited - Do not make promises you cannot keep (promotions, headcount, project assignments) - Do not compare the team to former teams you have worked on - Do not fill silence — let them talk - Do not treat the first 1:1 as a status update --- ## Handling a Skeptical or Disengaged Team Member 1. **Acknowledge it.** "I get the sense this transition has been hard. I want to earn your trust, not assume it." 2. **Ask, do not tell.** "What would I need to do over the next month for you to feel this is moving in a good direction?" 3. **Follow through on something small.** Trust is built through kept promises, not speeches. 4. **Be patient.** Disengagement is often grief in disguise. Give it 60 days before escalating. --- ## Running Doc Template For each direct report, maintain a single doc with these sections: - **Context** — tenure, role history, family/life details they have shared - **Motivations** — what they are working toward, what energizes them - **Growth areas** — agreed-upon areas to develop - **Rolling notes** — date-stamped short entries from each 1:1 - **Promises made** — commitments you owe them, with status - **Feedback log** — feedback given and how it landed Review before every 1:1. Five minutes of prep beats thirty of improvisation.